Sunrises, Part Two, Still Missing the Point.

Who said facts are stubborn things? Lenin? Marx? John Lennon? Groucho Marx? Well, the four of them were right but they missed something even more stubborn - habits. My routine for years now has been to get up, wash face, weigh-in, make breakfast, chart weight loss/gain, check email, check Able to Know, check Facebook, read the NYTimes on line (just the facts and headlines) and get-out-of-the-apartment.

Twenty five minutes flat, bang-zoom.

Three days ago I decided I would try adding in Watch the Sunrise. So, you ask, how's that going?
Um. Not so good.
I got up today (yesterday it rained so no sun in the sunrise so I skipped. More on that later.) weighed in, made coffee, got some fruit, made toast, charted weight loss (up for the week), made extra foam for coffee, took picture and headed up to the roof.

I was late.
No kidding.
That was my first thought as I came out onto the roof deck. I'm late.
Um. Let's think about this for just a moment.
Isn't watching the sun rise supposed to be a kind of meditative moment, a time to breathe out, take in the light and, for lack of a better word, be? As in 'let it be'.
Yes.
So, zo, what's with the I'm late?

There's going to have to be some serious pruning of habits and routines around here before the rising of the day gets to where I hope it will get me. First, no more breakfast dragged up to the roof. It takes two many hands, there are things to spill and forget and well, it's a distraction.

I still want to take the camera, but it's either going to be very low key or it's out too.

I just want two minutes, one minute, of watchfulness. Watch Fullness. Watch the Fullness.

It doesn't really matter if it's raining, so raining dawns are dawns and ought not to be skipped.

And, here's something, the dawn arrives everywhere. So I can head down to the Park or the River or the top of the hill in Fort Tryon.

I'll only feel late if I am trying to press more into the moment than it needs to be the moment.

We go on.