Ten Pages of "Who am I?"

According to "What Color is your Parachute?", one of the books I am using to guide my transition, job search, life change, the first challenge is find out who you are. So, it says to take ten sheets of paper and write Who am I? at the top of each one followed by one answer on each page. Here are mine in the order I thought of them : Teacher, Explainer, Writer, Runner, Reader, Salesman, Father, Brother, Uncle, Scrabble Nut, Chess Player, Board President, Listener, Problem Solver, Comedian, Cook, Handyman, Art Lover. Music Lover, Theatre Lover, Organizer, Director, Manager.

It shows you where my head was that day, very shortly becoming not a Manager. Interesting, no?
I'm sure you've noticed that the list contains more than ten answers, so let's cull that list and move a few things around:

Runner Teacher, Explainer, Listener, Problem Solver,, Salesman, Customer Service Maven, Writer, Reader, Father, Brother, Uncle, Family Member, Scrabble Nut, Chess Player, Game Player, , Comedian, Cook, Handyman, Art Lover. Music Lover, Theatre Lover  Lover of the Arts, Organizer, Director,Board President Manager.

Wow, that's a lot of crossing out, changing things around and re-naming, but that's how the exercise should go. Now to expand on each a little and say what turns me on about each one. (Each one of me?) And, after that put them into an order of importance. Who will be number one?

My first day off, my first off day

I was brought into the office last Thursday, mid-afternoon. Why does that sound like a line from a police drama? The store was being reduced to less than half of it's former space. Wow. Big surprise and no big surprise. They had played around dates and plans for the past month.

We were going to be open for years to come.

We were going to shut down next week.

We were going to be in business until the end of the year.

We were going to liquidate everything within the month.

We are moving the paint department,

We are not moving the paint department,

We are moving the paint department.

The store will still be the old name.

The sign is coming down November first.

The sign is staying up

but

It will be covered by a new sign.

So, I am in the office. My boss said he had to be the bad guy. I was not going to be a part of the new compressed version. There was going to be a new corporation running the store. It wasn't really his decision.

It all made good business sense. I was probably the biggest expense employee-wise. It, nonetheless, was a bad decision in the opinion of the man who was now going to the former owner because my presence in the store brought in a lot of customers. Here was my pay until the end of the month and here was a check for my vacation time. Big whoop. Fifteen years. Two checks. Ah.

I pretty much knew it was coming. We all knew there would be a lot of changes. The place had been losing money ever since the Home Depot opened down the street. I had let them know that I would be willing to hang in as long as it took to make the new place a success, but the guy who will now own the store hadn't made eye contact with me for three days. Never a good sign, even if he had a lot on his mind.

He came in as my now former boss and I were speaking.

"You never even asked me if I would be willing to negotiate lower wages or fewer hours." I said.

He mumbled something I missed.

I went upstairs and got my stuff; clothes, books, my coffee cup, my shaving kit, my tools all went into two big bags. Luckily, I had been cutting back on leaving changes of clothes there and had been leaving more stuff at the gym.

I met with my former co-manager, showed him my list of pre-paid special orders, all very organized, of course. Shook hands with whoever was nearby, some hugs. Went up to the new owner and said

"Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed because I am."

He turned toward me.

"I hope for your success." I continued, "but I don't think you can do it without me."

"Oh, so now you threaten me?"

{No kidding. That's what he said.}

"Um. That's not what I said."

Sigh. That pretty much encapsulates the fifteen year relationship we had. He's the kind of guy who gripes and moans to a customer for ten minutes over a ten dollar refund before giving them the refund. Ah.

I walked out then remembered I still had my keys to the place. I walked back in and handed them to him.

"Good luck" I said.